Masks

I am part of an awesome movement. One that brings women, and men, from all walks of life together under one huge thing. We have all lost children. Everyones experience is different, but the same. Everyones heart has been broken, their worlds have been shattered. We have all woken up wishing, praying that it was all a bad dream. That we would wake up and all would be right in our world once again. Sadly, we never wake up from that dream. We live through it, somehow. We have been challenged by the makers of the site to write. Our topic this month is about the masks we wear. I think that I have put a lot of my masks away. My losses have happened 7, 8 and 9 years ago. My pain is still there, but I have learned to live my life around it. I have my normal masks. The mom mask, the wife mask, the friend mask. The sad, depressing masks are usually locked away, meant for only me and usually my husband to see. Before my losses I was a happy go lucky type of person. Nothing ever got me down. I am trying so hard to get back to that. I had my masks very well. So well that most people don't even know it's on! I only tell them if I fell the need to. it's not that I don't trust them, it's just a private matter, feelings I need to sort through that most people, unless you are a fellow sister like me, will not understand. Many times over the years I have stumbled. Many times I have come so close to giving up, but I put my smiling mask on for the world to see and trudge through life until the mask is a part of me again. This is the mask I don't like to take off. It's my favorite. When the happy, smiling Dawn mask is on the world, my world at least, is so much better!